Fear in achievement (circa 2012)

From the latest reblog on tumblr
Your world gets wired on; delusions, fantasies, hopes and dreams
Inspired to conquer the world
To dream big
to make a change
To be unique

From your latest English, humanities, philosophy or history class
Your world gets wired on; delusions, fantasies, hopes and dreams
inspired to conquer the world
To dream big
To make a change
To be unique

There is reconciliation in simplicity and serenity.
The pressure to not only be, but to make a profound change impacts us
Weighing on us like a ton of bricks
Expectations rising like skyscrapers
All it implements is fear;
Fear of failure
But most importantly fear of success
am I ready for that responsibility?
Its fear of losing everything you achieved

How many stories exist about a tragic hero already.
coming to the conclusion that u cannot reconcile with your inner self because you're worried about your wired world makes you demean yourself.
The delusions, fantasies, hopes and dreams have elevated to another means...
they've become reality
A reality where people delight in the ideology of setting you up to fail

You've become responsible for;
conquering the world,
Dreaming above the deviated norms,
Making a profound change that is fundamental at all corners of the globe,
and being unique as a prosperous person with ambitions that exceed any others
That's scary

Being young, not much matters but the sole expectations of you for when you're older

The Air

Something in the air isn’t right

Its suffocating me

Wrapping itself around my throat

And i cant breathe

I cant think straight

I cant see right

I can’t be me …

The sun is blocked off by the clouds

The atmosphere is white

The people are white

My white socks have holes in them

My white shoes are dirt filled, too small for my feet

My house in the bronx has no ceiling

Large roaches fly everywhere

Mahogany floor boards are lifted...

The way my soul has been lifted

  And my mahogany colored skin lingers in the streets

It lingers like an empty vessel

Soulness

Lacking inspiration, motivation

Lacking purpose

The atmosphere is white

The people in the east village are white

My roommate is white

My mother is white

I’m brown

Brown like the soil

Brown like worn out bricks

“Brown like the perception of who’s on welfare”

My school is for white folks

The education is for white folks

And i’ve been patted into the soil

Like a worm

And i feel as though a crow will soon come down to pick me up

Swallow me up

A black crow, so violent

A white dove, so gentle

I walk through the east village, my mind has been shaped by third avenue

Clean room, no roaches, no rats

An east village fantasy

I say fantasy because

in the Bronx my section 8 housing is falling apart

I wont visit my mother because I’m ashamed of where i’ve come out

Another empty vessel that has shaped me

Like a matryoshka doll

A mentality that is bricks,

Artificially forced to fit concretely

But my mentality yonders everywhere

The way these bricks will when the world comes crashing down

Climate change

We will be our own demise