Confession #2

Sometimes I stare out my window when I think of you. 

It's okay that I'm not the girl of your dreams, or the one you took to prom. It's okay that I'm just a jaded memory, and not the one held in your arms.

I just want to be the girl who moved on. Who's curly hair you think about twenty years from now when you mow the lawn, wishing you didn't trim it so low because now it's too short to resemble the wind blowing through my wild curls. 

And when you think it's over, and reality's resumed, I'll be the girl you think about while you have your morning coffee. You'll sit at your desk, coffee in hand, wishing you hadn't poured so much milk in because now it's too creamy to resemble my dark brown eyes.

Confession #4

Once I bought the wrong perfume, but I've worn it every day since. You said you loved the smell of it, that it was reminiscent of rainy days. It reminded you of your aunt, and in some ways I liked that.

I wanted to be that comfort to you, the cozy feeling of being nestled together on a rainy day with the only thing between us being the scent of that perfume. 

I want your time with me to feel like home.

Confession #1

FLUORESCENT ADOLESCENT

I wanted him to be my first, my second, my only. And while I imagine him loving me, my curls serve as a curtain against the outside world, all that exists is one boy and one girl. Delusions race while the mundane, yet equally exciting world continues without me. And as I lay in bed, I imagine his hands. They outline the rounds of my body, sink into my curves. And I feel beautiful. I picture his silhouette in the walls before me -it hovers above mine as he holds me in his arms. And it tickles below as I imagine his tongue, but the loud distant horns distracts me from imagining more, and I’m left aware that I lay alone.

Rant on the Lack of Representation for PoC at NYU

I highkey thought that I was going to enjoy NYU because it is a liberal school. Well, it appears to only be liberal for it's white student population.

Of course The Tab NYU has posted two articles on the White Student Union already, but they are refusing to publish my piece because giving the people of color point of view is too controversial for the NYU community. They also denied me when I wrote about Mizzou and how it was affecting students on campus. Like I'm so sorry you are concerned about losing potential donors that would give you millions of dollars like they did for Poly (my b, I meant "Tandon") School of Engineering because PoC want to express how they feel.

You didn't need to fact check anything and "speak to your supervisor" when the last two posts were merely giving tribute to the page. Just because now it is confirmed to be a hoax it doesn't mean that there aren't people who said rude bigotry towards people of color and that we didn't suffer a virtual attack to our race.

I'm f****g tired of NYU giving me the short end of things, why on earth would you not want the community to understand how people of color feel about the situation on campus. It's not even so much about the actual union, but instead those that would support the union, and those that are attributing the union with their own fundamentals, and those that are emphasizing their "white supremacy." Why would you post an article interviewing the creator of the page and not cover how it affects people and how they are reacting?

It's not even about it being he hoax, it's about the reaction it is causing and having people understand that.

In his words, the reason it isn't being published is because:

"You yourself wrote even though it may be a hoax it's still important to address, which I agree with you completely. We just don't want to keep harping on the group because we don't want to keep implicitly legitimizing them past the two things we've already published. It's not about your opinions it's about the group," because of course let's protect the group and how white people feel and how they are being oppressed by the 5% of the student body that is black.

He then messaged me and said "get rid of anything having to do with the White Student Union and to shape your piece into a stand alone op-ed on race issues at NYU." 

Like yeah, let's just ignore the whole white side of the story when it is in a PoC's point of view and let's just make it sound like more black people being angry about race, let's just get rid of all the evidence.

Like yes, it is about my opinion, and the thousands more at this school, because the point of The Tab is to address what's happening. How tf you only address like 10% of it? Who cares that it's a hoax, there are people left and right supporting this, and consciously marginalizing students of color. 

It's okay to address the alleged "death threats" that the developer has received, but not the social injustices and overall threat PoC receive from racist slurs and the overall existence of the page? I thought NO ONE knew the developer of the page, so how tf are they receiving death threats? Ok. Cool.

Bet you if I wrote a kumbaya on how to spend thanksgiving in the dorms when you cant go away for the break he would publish that dumb sh** in a heart beat.

GOT ME TIGHT
GOT ME TIGHT
GOT ME TIGHT

The Controversy Surrounding the NYU White Student Union

Why watch SNL, when you can have all your satire from the NYU White Student Union page... oh wait, that's not satire. That's actually how they feel.

Lamenting the Stigma Towards Harlem

In "Fifth Avenue, Uptown," author James Baldwin argues that not much is done to ensure the well being of the black community. He argues this by relaying that if you walk through Harlem you will see men and women that are high and that they only become "animated" when they see someone that can lend them money for a fix, or when they are purchasing the substances that will keep them in that current state.

Reflection #1

Yesterday was the first day that we talked about Mizzou in one of my LS classes. I was surprised to hear that so many people (and let me point out the fact that the majority the class is white and that I am the only person of color in the class) knew little to nothing about Mizzou, or any events similar to it. I was heart broken. I couldn't even put together the words to try to explain it to them. Of course they all knew what happened with Paris because the media only cares about exposing when white people are being the victim of a terrorist attack. But people of color are terrorized every day by extremist groups. But of course we only broadcast when people of color are doing something wrong in society, never when something wrong is being done to them.

America: Allies With The World, Enemies With Their Own Citizens

Just hours after the horrific attack in Paris, Secretary of State John Kerry held a press conference and said, "I want to make sure that it absolutely crystal clear, that the United States stands with France, and the rest of the world, in our resolve to eliminate and discourage violent extremist groups from the face of the earth."

We Stand With You, Mizzou

I am proud to be an NYU student. It is undeniable that there are many progressive youngins like myself devoted to raising awareness and making a change. For the last few days my FB timeline has been inundated with statuses all making the same statement:

To the students of color at Mizzou, we, student allies at New York University, stand with you in solidarity. To those who would threaten their sense of safety, the world is watching. #ConcernedStudent1950 #InSolidarityWithMizzou

From left to right: Chuma Osse, Orville Edwards, Isis Bruno, Thomas Fortune, Andrea Davis, Azula Wilson