when i first looked at my body

It was when I first look at my body and first realized the rounds of it and the sinking curves in my favorite places that I became cognizant of my body. I never stood in front of a mirror to analyze it. I didn't see the point. I already had an inclination of what my body looked like and I knew I was disappointed with it because it wasn't conventionally beautiful. I didn't usually stand there and take pictures in different angles that would compliment my figure. And then I did. And then I looked at myself in a not so flattering angle. And I saw the stretch marks on my ass. And I realized that my thighs and ass and bigness was ugly. But then I remembered that the stretch marks looked like waves, And I was riding a wave of self loathing and deprecation instead of of self love and admiration.